"you'll get over it" - false negative

this is fucking miserable. like i saw some twisted alterna-life mirror in front of me and fell into it. nothing feels the same, even the air smells different. it's all different. smiles are fake, the panic attacks don't stop, i shake so hard i drop wallets and keys, vomit up nothing, can only eat once a day and only in four bites. what is this. he said i'd "get over it", he said he didn't want me to feel anything...i guess in a weird way i don't feel anything. when every single emotion and expression and passion is taken from you, do you actually ever feel anything? i was wrapped up more than i thought i was, and now i'm so unraveled and ridiculous i don't know what the hell to do. i can't even write. read this shit, it doesn't even make sense. nothing is anywhere remotely the same. and i hate it.